What Jinger Duggar Has Said About Her 'Cult-Like' Upbringing

Jinger Duggar Courtesy of Jinger Duggar/Instagram

has been honest about the challenges of growing up in the TLC spotlight — and of breaking free from the conservative teachings of her childhood.

Jinger is one of and ’s 19 children who were raised as followers of the Institute in Basic Life Principles, a fundamentalist organization founded by the controversial leader . Fans watched along as Jinger and her siblings navigated their daily lives on 19 Kids and Counting, which ran from 2008 to 2015, and the spinoff Counting On, which aired from 2015 to 2021.

After stepping away from the world of reality TV, Jinger began to form her own ideas about faith with the help of her husband, , whom she married in 2016. “I’m grateful for my childhood. It was not perfect … but at the end of the day, I’m grateful for my parents,” Jinger said on the “Unplanned” podcast in June 2024. “I love them, we have differences, everything’s not perfect between us, but I think that at the end of the day, I love them and I know that they know that.”

Jinger previously opened up about her upbringing in her books The Hope We Hold and Becoming Free Indeed, detailing the quirks of her religious background and the different perspectives she has now. Her latest memoir, People Pleaser, which debuts in January 2025, will delve deeper into the “not-so-healthy path” she was on.

Related: Jinger Duggar's 'Becoming Free Indeed' Book RevelationsTelling her story. Jinger Duggar grew up in the spotlight, but there was still plenty TLC fans didn’t know about her life — until now. The 19 Kids and Counting alum, 29, released her book Becoming Free Indeed: My Story of Disentangling Faith from Fear on Tuesday, January 31. Her memoir unpacks her ultra-conservative Christian […]

“I realized I was a people-pleaser from the time I was a teen. … There [is] people-pleasing that shows up in everybody’s life, every single day and I think that’s why now is the time to write this book,” she said on the “Jinger & Jeremy” podcast in September 2024. “It’s such a problem and it will always be a problem.”

Scroll down for Jinger’s candid commentary on her unconventional upbringing:

Love Notes From Prison

Being part of a recognizable family came with a few surprises. “Guys would write from prison for my sisters. It was crazy,” Jinger said on the “Dinner Party With Jeremy Fall” podcast in July 2021. “We constantly had letters coming in the mail and it was like, ‘Oh, who is it for this time? Oh, it’s for Jana, oh, it’s for Jessa.‘ … It was mind blowing just to think that somebody thought they would walk right into your life and marry you, like, they were already basically proposing in their letters.”

Jinger added that some of the inmates might have believed the proposals were “legit,” saying, “I can understand how somebody would think, ‘Oh, I know you so well because I watched you from a child grow up,’ so they think that there’s a relationship there when there’s not. It’s like, a one-sided thing.”

The Duggar family D Dipasupil/Getty Images for Extra‘Cult-Like’ Faith

Jinger exclusively told Us in January 2023 that she “definitely” recognized that her religious upbringing “was cult-like in many ways,” adding, “It was built on fear, manipulation, control and superstition, so all those things combined in how hard it is for kids to leave or adults to leave — anyone, really. … Once you hear the teachings, you’re not supposed to depart from those.”

In an interview with People that same month, Jinger said that she was often “crippled with anxiety” growing up due to the “fear and superstition” encouraged by Gothard’s “harmful” teachings. “I was terrified of the outside world,” she admitted. “The teaching I grew up under was harmful, it was damaging, and there are lasting effects.”

Bond With Her Sisters

In her 2023 book, Becoming Free Indeed, Jinger revealed that out of all nine of her sisters, she feels most connected to Jessa. “She is my closest sibling in age, only 13 months older than me. She is fifth and I am sixth of 19 Duggar kids,” Jinger wrote. “Growing up, Jessa and I were together all the time. Though all the Duggar girls shared the same room, I often felt like I was roommates with only Jessa. Our beds were next to each other for my entire childhood.”

Related: Jinger Duggar Opens Up About 'Not Perfect' Dynamic With Her Parents19 Kids and Counting alum Jinger Duggar has love for her parents, Jim Bob and Michelle Duggar, despite their differences. “I’m grateful for my childhood. It was not perfect. I shared a lot of difficulties that I struggled with throughout my childhood, but at the end of the day, I’m grateful for my parents,” Jinger, […] Being on TV

Jinger and her siblings were first featured on TV in 2004 before 19 Kids and Counting premiered in 2008. “I look at those years and I’m really grateful for the opportunities that I was able to have,” she exclusively told Us in January 2023 while reflecting on growing up in the spotlight. “Like, we traveled the world, things that we wouldn’t have been able to do as a large family. At the same time, I can say I saw, also, those challenges [that came with it].”

At the time, Jinger explained that she and Vuolo “talked about” whether they wanted to raise their own children in the public eye. (The couple welcomed daughters Felicity and Evangeline in 2018 and 2020, revealing in 2024 that baby No. 3 is on the way.)

The Duggar family D Dipasupil/Getty Images for Extra

“I spent most of my life on TV. … That was my childhood,” she told Us. “Like, that was all I knew. I played with the boom mics and all of that, but [my kids are] just so not used to it. So it’s kind of interesting to see.”

The Family Rules

Fans have long been fascinated with the Duggar family’s strict expectations for their children under the IBLP teachings. “I thought I had to wear only skirts and dresses to please God. Music with drums, places I went or the wrong friendships could all bring harm,” Jinger told People in January 2023.

During an appearance on the “Unplanned” podcast the following year, Jinger admitted that many of the “man-made” rules “don’t make sense,” like not being allowed to wear T-shirts. “If you have a normal shirt, you’re allowed to roll up your sleeves,” she explained. “But you can’t buy a T-shirt that has the sleeves already off.”

There were also guidelines put in place for courtship, with dates requiring a chaperone. “You know, you can’t kiss before you’re married, you can’t hold hands … [but] I don’t see that in the word of God,” Jinger told Us in January 2023, revealing how she plans to approach the topic with her own children. “I don’t think that courtship is a word that we’re gonna use with them at all because I don’t think that that’s the only way to find a spouse — or the best way — at all.”

Jinger Duggar Courtesy of Jinger Duggar/InstagramLiving With 18 Siblings

Jinger admitted on “Unplanned” in June 2024 that she was “afraid” of the pressures to have “as many [kids] as possible” before she became a parent. She recalled having to take care of two of her own siblings when she was younger.

“I think that parents should take care of their kids. If you have them, you should take care of them. Kids can help out, learn responsibility in other ways, but maybe not in the motherly aspects of what moms or dads should be doing,” she said. “You have all these imbalances of kids raising kids. I think that I saw that a lot in the system and I think that that is unhealthy.”

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Jinger also remembered the IBLP teachings impacting her family’s life in unexpected ways. “We would never do organized sports because we were afraid of influences around us,” she said. “And so we would do a family sport in the community … and we would all play that together. … Looking back, I’m like, ‘Oh, I wish I would’ve had maybe more opportunities to explore what I was really interested in in that way.’”

Not Enough Food

During an August 2024 episode of the “Jinger & Jeremy” podcast, Jinger spoke candidly about growing up with 18 siblings. “I remember a few times when we were very young some of my siblings would take their food, take their plate of food — get ready for this, it’s disgusting — in the bathroom,” she recalled. “They would carry it and put it on the bathroom counter, my mom would be like, ‘Don’t do that.’ They’re like, ‘They’re going to eat it.’”

Jinger added, “That’s literally what they thought, ‘I’m not going to be able to eat my food because somebody’s going to take it and we might not have enough food for seconds today.’”

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